An open letter to Jerry Stritzke, CEO of REI:

We heard about your plan to #OptOutside this Black Friday and spend the day ditching the crowded retail stores and enjoying the great outdoors with your family and friends. We think it’s a great idea. Really, we do.

We just wanted to remind you that Black Friday happens at the very end of November. The average temperature in New York on November 27th is 45°. In Chicago it’s 36°. We don’t even want to mention Minneapolis. If you’re really planning to spend your Black Friday outdoors, it could be cold. Like, really cold. Like, can’t-feel-your-fingers, ice-chunks-in-your-eyeballs, frotstbite-on-the-tip-of-your-nose cold.

But hey, if you want to go outside, just be sure you wear a nice warm coat. And some gloves. And one of those hats with the ear-flaps and the fur. And some snow pants with long underwear underneath and maybe some of those little hand warmer packets that you put in your pockets. And, with the way the weather has been this year, it probably wouldn’t hurt to have some snowshoes on hand, just in case.

Don’t get me wrong, opting outside sounds like a great idea for people who are tough enough to brave cold, wet weather. People who are willing to forsake the comforts of a day spent relaxing at home so they can get back to nature or avoid standing in lines on Black Friday or whatever. It’s cool.

Us? We’ll be spending our day getting cozy under a blanket on the couch, curling up with our laptops and a nice mug of hot chocolate, shopping online, and probably reading clickbait. Sounds pretty nice, right?

So really, we just wanted to let you know that if you happen to get too cold out there, remember that you can always decide to #OptInside with us instead. There’s plenty of room on the couch.

Love,

 

John Alteio